Tuesday, March 30, 2004

 
Okay for the last and final time you silly little boys, when you buy silly sex toys, we cashiers are SO not impressed.

*I have taken a bonus card from a woman that keeps her pepper spray on her key chain in a penis bondage thingie.

*I have been paid with money pulled from a woman's bra.

*I have seen strippers dancing around in a lewd manner with a large balloon in the shape of the cucumber from veggie tales.

*I have sold size D batteries and K-Y to a blushing *young* woman.

Anyway last night 5 young guys came in and bought Vasaline, K-Y, cucumbers, and condoms. Not a one of them could keep a straight face. Silly boys. I was sorely temped to warn them that vasaline and condoms don't mix. I mean you could get a STD from that cucumber. They are a rather slutty kind of veggie. You never know where its been. (I guess on some level I should be happy they thought to use condoms)

Oh yeah, another thing that I find funny. As I recall less than 5 percent of the male population needs extra large condoms, and I refuse to accept that they all live here in Ithaca. I tend to think the men buying them are just mentally masturbating. Really, God, how stupid do you think I am? Stop winking at me like I should bow down and pay homage to you penis.

Unless you are That REALLY cute Goth boy, who I *know* is gay cuz I have seen you and your boyfriend neckkin' in the parking lot, I really don't care. Just in case you are him, it's not like I care that much, it's just you and your boyfriend are so cute, I want you to stay together and pose for a picture. And, from what I hear guys tend to go with the "the bigger the better" theory

Amy 12:45 AM